Never Mind the Morning After

“What the hell are you so bloody upset about, Natalie? You are running around like chaos on cocaine and we-“

“Don’t fucking patronise me. If you had any idea about life, you’d be running around with me instead of standing there like some presidential podium ornament with a hand full of cue cards and a mouth full of teeth. Get off your high horse and help me look or piss off. Your choice.”

“Just relax, okay?” What are you looking for?

Do NOT play stupid.

*scrambles around knocking things over*

*lifts head to stare*

“Help or fuck off. You are delaying the process!”  

*voice from down the hall*

“Nat, any luck?”

“Nat, please. Just listen to me. Be reasonab-“

REASONABLE? Don’t talk to me about reasonable. If you hadn’t gone and gotten yourself knocked up, none of this would ever have happened!

I am doing you a favour here and I WILL NOT LET YOU FORGET IT!!

Go boil the kettle. We’ll need to sterilise.

“Steril…wait…no. What are you doing?